Things I will miss v things I will gain

Today gave me an insight in to both camps. During the day we went to the UK Bass show in London, and so I cut back on my pills to help me function as a normal person. We had so much fun together, and I chatted away to lots of interesting strange men. It was like the old days of our relationship, when I used to giggle and play and enjoy life.

On the way home my body was ok, I wasn’t in need of more pills, but I wanted to chill and just couldn’t think of anything which would be nicer than my drugs. So by now I’ve taken my usual quota, and am stuck on the sofa in my dressing gown again. It might sound rubbish, but it feels warm and comforting and familiar. I’m worried that without my pills I will find this level of relaxation is hard to get. I don’t drink or smoke, or anything else, so I will have no outlet in this way. Please don’t suggest yoga as a replacement. Or meditation. Both are great, I’m sure, but they’re not quite as accessible, and I doubt they’re as fun!


2 thoughts on “Things I will miss v things I will gain

  1. julia t says:

    yoga and meditation are not just things you do to relax.. they are things you do to help learn to chill out and just be content in the moment with out looking for a buzz, to help you re train your brain if you like.. so the need to get a buzz is lessened. Part of recovery is the physical dependance and over coming that and next comes the psychological dependance and learning to live with out the psychological crutch, and break the habit.. which I think is harder and with that learning new things helps. but it is different for everyone but don’t dismiss stuff yet, its a long process and totally worth it 🙂

    • I think I phrased myself badly :). I’m not dismissing them at all, in fact they are things I want to explore, just that at the moment I can’t imagine anything being as perfect as what I currently do! That’s completely the psychological side of the addiction, I know, and it will change in time 🙂

      I thin what I meant was more that none of that will be any good for me next week (for example) as they are things which need to be learnt. They’re not quick fixes.

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