And so it begins

So here I am, sitting on the sofa, waiting for a call from the addiction helper people.  It appears there is a never ending stream of paperwork and assessment involved with addiction.  Four days since I went to the doctors and asked for help, and I’m still waiting.

Today *was* a good day though.  Whilst waiting for the call, I thought I would go to a drop in centre (in all honesty I hoped it might speed things up!).  My biggest issue – what to wear to a drug group?!  I mean you don’t want to look like you’ve made too much effort – I want the helper people to know I need the help.  So skinny purple jeans and a black jumper, with black boots – looking kinda cute, but very “normal”.  And blue nail polish ❤  Actually it’s an indie polish by Sea Lore, themed on Finding Nemo.  As you’ll soon discover, nail polish takes an important role in my life – see me without a manicure and you’ll know things are seriously wrong!

Anyhow, at the drop in I met this volunteer guy.  He was rather inspiring – he spoke so eloquently about the issues that surround the addict.  The most striking thing he said was that addicts have a great big hole inside them (no, not that one, in case you have a dirty mind!).  They spend their life trying to find things to fill the hole – so you’ll find us busy doing new things, moving house, spending money on “stuff”, falling madly in love.  Anything to plug that gap.  But nothing works forever, and the longer you keep trying, the more quickly the gap empties of what you’ve plugged it with.  And in the end you have to accept that what you need to fill the gap with is you.  Finding the “you” to fill it is the freaking hard part – I’ll leave that for another day 😀

Unfortunately the meet didn’t speed any of the paperwork up, which is why I am still sitting here, waiting for the phone to ring.  Still using.

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10 thoughts on “And so it begins

  1. Stephanie Byrne says:

    This might not be the most important thing, but this is really well written, really compelling, and I’m looking forward to reading more. I think you’re going to inspire a lot of people dealing with all kinds of stuffx

  2. I come from a family full of addicts to various things (drugs, alcohol, etc) so I can imagine what you’re going through in order to kick it. But I have faith! Kick ass and take some names ❤

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